Memoirs of a gold digger
"Have you seen Memoirs of a Geisha yet?" Benny asked me over our late night coffee.
"Yes, I loved it.. the kimonos were beautiful!" I gushed, expecting the conversation to skew towards the inappropriately intense blue of Zhang Ziyi's contacts.
"Yes darling. Now you know what?... You need a danna!" he proclaimed with flourish, his queer glory shining through.
"Why don't you call on Mr. CEO?" He suggested coyly, referring to the Honkie MNC director who'd chatted me up and given me his card at a cafe some time back.
"Eew! That guy's about 60 years old!" I shrieked.
And so Benny proceeded to extoll the virtues of older men. Much, much older men... we're talking 60's and beyond. His take on the matter is that if the geezers are that ancient, you don't actually have to do very much in bed. And at that age, most of them are so lonely they'll do pretty much anything in the world for the attention of a sweet young thing.
He should know. He's got ten different ones lapping at his fingertips at any one time.
They send him money for over-quoted plane tickets, bring him around at their expense and buy him presents, all the while declaring their undying love and devotion to him. Which is why he spends a quarter of the year travelling the world for free, and a good amount of the rest of the time entertaining the ones who travel here to see him while staying at five star hotels in town and shopping at upscale boutiques.
And you thought I was scandalous..........
Too bad I'm not 22 anymore, or I'd take his advice and take a service job at a mens' couture boutique. Plenty of opportunity to meet restless Indonesian Chinese businessmen. Apparently a girlfriend of his who's kept by a Malaysian datuk and gets RM$15,000 monthly maintanence met hers that way. She lives in Kuala Lumpur but she shops in Milan.
Too bad also, that I doubt I have the patience or temperament for the kind of maintanence that would be expected of me. Benny says it's practically a full-time job keeping all his benefactors emotionally placated: he sends valentine love notes, chats with them online simultaneously and sends the occasional small 'I was just thinking of you baby..' gift in the mail.
I on the other hand, have missed countless birthdays, valentines, and christmases with men I've had actual relationships with. Please don't even bring up anniversaries.
Plus there's the fact that I've a slightly voracious appetite for doin' the do when I'm in the mood for it. The mind-blowingly satisfying, give-it-to-me-til-I'm-fucked-senseless kind of dirty, hedonistic sex. Which I really don't think a geriatric would be able to afford me, viagra or not. I'm also very elitist in my physical requirements, I never fake it, and I'm not about to start.
"Who says you have to do anything?" sniffed Benny.
"Just meet him for lunch or something, and be his hot young friend. Tell him how sick you are of younger guys who are so shallow and just into you for your body, and how refreshing it is to be able to talk to someone who's intelligent. Then tell him you're saving up really hard to buy yourself that laptop/Chanel bag/Rolex you want, cos you're birthday is coming up. And then when your 'birthday' rolls round and he asks if you bought it for yourself, suddenly go all quiet and sad and tell him you couldn't cos you had to pay for something really important. And if he doesn't buy it for you within the next 2 weeks then don't bother."
I do admire Benny's matter-of-fact nonchalance. My birthday won't be coming round soon (thank god) and I believe in karma (or at least not deliberately fooling people for profit) so I doubt I'd be able to pull it off.
But if anyone knows some old sucker and has the stomach for it, let me know how it goes okay?
"Yes, I loved it.. the kimonos were beautiful!" I gushed, expecting the conversation to skew towards the inappropriately intense blue of Zhang Ziyi's contacts.
"Yes darling. Now you know what?... You need a danna!" he proclaimed with flourish, his queer glory shining through.
"Why don't you call on Mr. CEO?" He suggested coyly, referring to the Honkie MNC director who'd chatted me up and given me his card at a cafe some time back.
"Eew! That guy's about 60 years old!" I shrieked.
And so Benny proceeded to extoll the virtues of older men. Much, much older men... we're talking 60's and beyond. His take on the matter is that if the geezers are that ancient, you don't actually have to do very much in bed. And at that age, most of them are so lonely they'll do pretty much anything in the world for the attention of a sweet young thing.
He should know. He's got ten different ones lapping at his fingertips at any one time.
They send him money for over-quoted plane tickets, bring him around at their expense and buy him presents, all the while declaring their undying love and devotion to him. Which is why he spends a quarter of the year travelling the world for free, and a good amount of the rest of the time entertaining the ones who travel here to see him while staying at five star hotels in town and shopping at upscale boutiques.
And you thought I was scandalous..........
Too bad I'm not 22 anymore, or I'd take his advice and take a service job at a mens' couture boutique. Plenty of opportunity to meet restless Indonesian Chinese businessmen. Apparently a girlfriend of his who's kept by a Malaysian datuk and gets RM$15,000 monthly maintanence met hers that way. She lives in Kuala Lumpur but she shops in Milan.
Too bad also, that I doubt I have the patience or temperament for the kind of maintanence that would be expected of me. Benny says it's practically a full-time job keeping all his benefactors emotionally placated: he sends valentine love notes, chats with them online simultaneously and sends the occasional small 'I was just thinking of you baby..' gift in the mail.
I on the other hand, have missed countless birthdays, valentines, and christmases with men I've had actual relationships with. Please don't even bring up anniversaries.
Plus there's the fact that I've a slightly voracious appetite for doin' the do when I'm in the mood for it. The mind-blowingly satisfying, give-it-to-me-til-I'm-fucked-senseless kind of dirty, hedonistic sex. Which I really don't think a geriatric would be able to afford me, viagra or not. I'm also very elitist in my physical requirements, I never fake it, and I'm not about to start.
"Who says you have to do anything?" sniffed Benny.
"Just meet him for lunch or something, and be his hot young friend. Tell him how sick you are of younger guys who are so shallow and just into you for your body, and how refreshing it is to be able to talk to someone who's intelligent. Then tell him you're saving up really hard to buy yourself that laptop/Chanel bag/Rolex you want, cos you're birthday is coming up. And then when your 'birthday' rolls round and he asks if you bought it for yourself, suddenly go all quiet and sad and tell him you couldn't cos you had to pay for something really important. And if he doesn't buy it for you within the next 2 weeks then don't bother."
I do admire Benny's matter-of-fact nonchalance. My birthday won't be coming round soon (thank god) and I believe in karma (or at least not deliberately fooling people for profit) so I doubt I'd be able to pull it off.
But if anyone knows some old sucker and has the stomach for it, let me know how it goes okay?
posted by rose at 1:12 AM
3 Comments:
Quite hard to recommend you without knowing how you look.
Very unfortunately, usually with men who have the money to buy anything they want, not just any girl who's willing put out will do.
i basically agree with j.m., and would only emphasize something he probably left implicit:
while there's no doubt a strong and direct correlation between the money pile and appearance of the particular armcandy, there is far less linkage between money and performance.
in understandable terms, these guys buy for looks, not utility. but in this zone i suppose i should just recognize that appearance is the only utility that matters to them.
and since i'm here, i'll share one continuing puzzlement for me that is specific to this blog:
you're doing a good write on what is generally a very popular subject (cf the numbers put up by the sites on your blogroll) and you've been 'tomorrow-ed' . . . so how come you're getting such a small number of comments?
can't be because you aren't stirring up the requisite number of testerone-monkeys like me on your counter . . . so what do you suppose is up?
Funny you should bring that up. I was just wondering myself if I come across as aloof or arrogant.
Anyway I started this blog mainly as an outlet for all the things I usually keep in, and it happens that these were the topics on my mind. Obviously, I can afford to be this honest because of the anonymity.
So the entertainment factor is incidental, I guess. And that's not just a disclaimer!
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