Thursday, May 25, 2006

Taming of a shrew

The trouble with having completely non-commital flings is that if you're free to see as many new and different people as you wish, so are they.

Since my last tryst with Trent, I've spotted two different girls on his arm when we've run into each other. And Chris has been hinting at wanting a reunion, but hasn't been able to find an appropriate time away from his sweetheart. Wang has another on-again, off-again fuck buddy besides me, and I won't even start with Shyler.

So where does that leave a girl?

Sex aside, sometimes all I want is some good old fashioned companionship. Maybe it's time I pulled out the 'good girl' act. A friend of mine once told me, "if you want a good guy, you're gonna have to act like a good girl."

Which makes enough sense, fair enough. Although it's a concept that horrifies and saddens me all at once.

What if I'm just not the 'if you want me, you'll wait', legs-crossed-tight kind of girl? What if I really just am the 'I know I'll do you senseless anyway, so why not now?' type. Most men lie and cheat on the good girls with the bad girls anyway, the main difference being that the good girls get introduced to parents and believe their loving boyfriends are are really just out having a drink with the guys.

And yet, the truth is such a burden. It turns you off the romantic ideal which you've always held as desirable. But given the number of attached men who've been involved with me or who've tried, something has seriously got to give.

It'd be easy to decide that since men cheat so freely, the most logical thing to do would be to find a guy to be 'with', and freely cheat as well. But I would like to believe that if I ever did find that magical man who would want me for the nice, decent, bring-to-mummy sweetie pie that I'm not, I would have enough respect for him to pass up an opportunity with any of my above-mentioned on-off flings.

Naive, no...?

Well maybe there's hope for me yet... perhaps I'm not that much of a bad girl after all eh.

2 Comments:

Blogger john said...

good, bad, why draw the line so fine?
just be happy :)

9:47 PM  
Blogger Athena Stars said...

hey! you've been missed! you ok? pretty quiet on your side...

come back soon..

1:34 AM  

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